Shoe Tying. This can be either a source of elation and pride when accomplished by a child or a means to guaranteed tears and frustration from both the child and the individual who is attempting to teach shoe tying.
I am an Occupational Therapist and have worked with children for years. We are known to be the "fine motor specialists" in settings such as schools. I cannot tell you the number of children referred to OT from a teacher to show a child how to tie their shoes. Despite the child functioning well in every other aspect in the classroom, the teacher continually had to take extra time to tie the child's shoes. Fortunate in my position back then, I worked directly for the school and could allow some extra time "here and there" to give a child some 1:1 time to address this, but believe me when I say this is not the norm.
I am also a mother of 4 adult children. I recall "the step" in which I taught each of our kids to tie their shoes. For three of them, it was as easy as a one-time lesson. For another, it was a source of contention. He was always in a hurry to get somewhere. He had the motor skills, but not the patience. And sometimes, I may have lost my patience with him. But eventually we did get there.
The children I have worked with throughout the years have often had multiple reasons that impact their independence in this area. To name a few, they may have fine motor delays, visual concerns, attention difficulties, cognitive processing delays, as well as sensory processing impacting their success. It was important to address the core reasons why this was a struggling skill, but in the end, the goal was to give that child as much independence as he/she could attain, even if it meant the need to adapt the task and/or type of shoe they wore.
Either way, I am writing this to encourage and give you tips as a caregiver to take it upon yourself to find ways to foster independence in this area. It will give your child confidence, independence, and pride. The ultimate goal, although not always attainable, would be for your child to be able to independently take on/off their shoes and tie them prior to entering their kindergarten year of school. Now, let's get to the nitty-gritty.
There are multiple methods of tying a shoe! Who knew? However, in general, when starting some tips to teach your child include:
-Using thicker cotton shoelaces. This may require you to remove those circular nylon ones. The cotton ones "grab" a little easier and leave less room for error, like slipping.
-Consider using two colors of laces as shown in this video, when teaching a two-bunny ear method.
-Remove the shoe and put it on a table surface that is easier to manipulate and learn from. I often would have the child hold a shoe between their legs to ensure the shoe did not wiggle around.
-Teach in small steps. Start by showing them the last step. Until they can complete that step, they move to the initial criss-cross step.
-Practice during low-stress times of the day. Teaching while trying to hurry to get out the door will more than likely end in a teary session.
-After they have mastered the typical knot, consider showing them how to double-knot. The school day is long, and a regular knot from a "newer" shoe tier will often come undone. Make sure they have the dexterity to "untie" a double knot before teaching it to them.
-A cute song sung to the tune of "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" that I have used in the past to teach the "regular method" is:
“Make a loop, just like a bunny,
Hold it tight, don’t let it runny.
Wrap the lace around the tree,
Pull it through for all to see.
Now your bow is neat and new,
That’s the way we tie a shoe!”
-If making a loop and pinching it just seems too difficult for a child to manage, an alternate method I would use to teach a child is one that is shown in this video.
If, after all of these attempts, your child still struggles but longs for independence, there are multiple means of purchasing adaptive laces that allow your child to wear footwear that their peers are wearing that does not stand out. A simple Google search of "adapted laces" will give you so many options. Luckily, with the multitude of styles out there, velcro shoes are even considered stylish while offering children independence.
I hope that by perusing this blog, you have been able to gain some tips that you can share with your child when teaching this skill. Just try to remember, short-term pain leads to long-term gain! It will be a WIN-WIN for both you and your child!
If you have any additional tips that have helped your family, please feel free to share below!
-Miss Connie & Otie