Daredevils. Wild Child. Disobedient. Reckless. All we have heard are descriptions to you know, that child. The one whose parent allows them to climb to the highest peak at the playground. The one who plays outside unsupervised. The child who seems to rule the collection of children during playgroup.
What good could possibly come of this unruly child? I'm here to say, I see through some of those behaviors. I've lived through raising 4 children (2 of which would have been labeled in this group). I've been an OT for over 32 years and have worked with hundreds of children with many of these characteristics. Many of those parents were exasperated with the activity and commotion that these kids created. Many of those parents wanted me to work on "fixing" these behaviors so that their houses could be more peaceful. They wouldn't need to be on edge all of the time just waiting for something dreadful to happen to either their house, their siblings, or themselves.
Let's dive a little deeper into why I quietly smile and admire a family who allows a child to wear those labels freely.
Risky Play......
Produces Injuries. - Yes, you may have a few more trips to the er when allowing your child to climb high, run fast, and roll down a hill. But what if they make it to the top safely?
Invokes Anxiety - Yikes! It is nerve-wracking to watch your child walk on a ledge awaiting their sure-to-happen fall. You know you will have to pick up the pieces to an upset, and potentially hurt child. But what if they don't fall?
Creates Judgment - The other parents cannot believe that you would let your child walk next door to the neighbors while you watch from the window. I mean abduction could happen anytime, anywhere. How dare you be so irresponsible.
Produces Bullies - Risky play often involves roughhousing. Roughhousing is often loud, and rambunctious, and commonly ends in disagreements and hurt feelings. The one who started it may be viewed as the bully. No one wants their child to be around a bully. Or could that child be a potential leader in the making? Is all that rough play really interpreted as being mean?
What if we supported safe risky play? We could be....
Enhancing problem-solving, resilience, and confidence - Kids get to learn how to assess present and future risks when met with new challenges. They gain a belief in themselves when they accomplish a new skill.
Improving Physical Coordination - Challenging motor skills by providing opportunities for the just right activities improves physical coordination, endurance, and provides opportunity to improve overall health.
Encouraging Independence - We all love a good snuggle with our children. But stage 4 clingers? Generally not so much. Encouraging safe risky play allows your child to build confidence and the ability to want to try things on their own. In the end, when we release our children to the big, wide world we yearn for independence for them. Instilling assurance that failing is okay and necessary and that trying new things allows growth is one of the best gifts we can give them.
Supports emotional growth and regulation - Protecting our child from all of the "what-ifs" does not give our child a chance to learn how to recover when they are young. We can be there to model and teach our young children how to manage feelings of frustration, disappointment, and discouragement. It is not that easy as they enter teenage years and adulthood.
Do you get the sense that I support safe, risky play? I hope so. I believe strongly that overprotecting our children only creates problems in the end. What is safe risky play?
I recommend providing a supervised, yet hands-off approach. Provide age-appropriate opportunities for challenges. Teach your kids to recognize their limits while allowing them to explore. By embracing controlled risk, parents can foster growth while minimizing dangers.
Risky Play Examples:
Climbing and balancing on low structures and or nature. Rolling down hills. Jumping from safe heights. Playing in small streams with close supervision. Picking up and throwing rocks or sticks in environments that are free from hurting others or messing with the backdrop of that particular area. Barefoot play. Riding bikes, scooters, and skateboards. Allowing supervised play fighting and wrestling. And lastly, experimenting with child-safe tools with supervision including hammering with size-appropriate hammer, digging in the dirt with shovels, and whittling wood with a safe tool.
Fortunately, with the introduction of social media, we are able to find so many more opportunities to seek out new adventures for our family to participate in. Unfortunately, with social media, we are at times over-informed of all of the things that can go wrong.
I hope that you are able to find a balance of risk with safety that allows your children to excel at not much more concern of a bruised elbow, scabbed knee, and possibly hurt ego. I would rather have a child wear out the knees of their jeans before they outgrow them. It means they have gotten the chance to be a child.
Miss Connie