Please Be Patient With Us Baby Boomers as We Navigate Gentle Parenting

My business is and has been kids for many years. My husband and I raised 4 children. I worked as an Occupational Therapist for 30 years and spent a majority of that time playing and working with children. I love them! They are charismatic, empathetic, faithful, pure, honest, and able to let bygones be bygones. Honestly, they are everything we as adults should strive to be more of! 

But sometimes they are not all of those things. They can be clingy, mischievous, whiney, aggressive, loud, and argumentative. Sounds like many adults as well! How we as adults who are caregiving for this version of our little ones handles these less than desirable behaviors vary significantly! Is one right and the other wrong? I'm not sure I have the answer, but I'll share my perspective from a seasoned Baby Boomer.

We were raised in a generation of hands-off parenting. They were there to take us to the ER if needed, but it had to be pretty serious to leave work to actually get something looked at by a Doctor.  We had to figure out how to entertain ourselves. Few family outings, vacations, or even game nights do I recall as a child. We were told NO and that was final. Dad's role was to work hard and provide for our family. We were not to "bother" him on his off time as he needed to rest. Mom's job was to make sure we had all of our needs. Did they even love us? Of course they did! It was not shared often, but I do not recall a time where I felt cheated or neglected of having people around me who cared deeply for me. 

Fast forward to myself becoming a parent in 1993. The early days were mixed with just plain surviving. I vowed to be more "present" than what I felt the generation before me was. I worked as an OT, but did so part-time so that I could accomplish just that. I planned field trips with friends who had children the same age. I got on the floor with our kids. I baked. I let them make a mess, and lived in a constant state of stressful chaos!  I also lost my temper. I used strict "time-outs" and deprivation of treasured toys to teach them a "lesson" and give them time to sort out their feelings on their own. I mean they should know what they did wrong! (I never said I was always proud of my parenting skills).  My husband was much more involved than my Dad had been. He was the "fun" one. I resented that and often took that out on him.  

At the beginning of my parent journey, I did not have anyone to compare myself to other than the neighborhood parents who were on the same journey I was. There was no social media to tell me what I was doing right or wrong. I had to use my past experiences and my gut instincts how to mold those little creatures into big humans who would one day make a difference in the world. 

Fast forward to the present. My parenting duties presently are that of a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen to, and occasionally a hand to help move them to a new location, paint a room, or plan a wedding. (Yes our first wedding is this March)! I am yet to be a Grandparent and witness the gift of my own children navigate "parenting". 

However, I am still heavily invested in parenting littles as I own a business centered around providing families easy play opportunities that fit into a box. I spend much of my day trying to understand present parent's needs and how I could be of benefit to them. I cannot imagine parenting now with the resources available. Google, TicTok, Facebook Groups, YouTube, and parent groups to name just a few. While that "sounds" wonderful to have at your fingertips, it must send parents into a tailspin. 

Everyone has an opinion on how to do it "right". Parents must always question if they are providing the best education, the correct disciplinary actions, or giving them too much or too little. Economic status seems so much more significant than it did for us who had no one to compare to other than our next door neighbor who had the same as us.

Gentle Parenting or Intuitive Parenting has become a hot topic. Providing your child a voice and validating their feelings is becoming a recommendation to ensure that your child grows up with strong emotional intelligence. Giving your child choices and focusing only on positive reinforcement to promote desired behaviors is commonly encouraged. 

Three generations of parenting. Three very different approaches. Three very right or very wrong paths? I don't think I, nor anyone else can honestly say. We have a lot to learn from each approach and each loved one that you are gifted to surround yourself around when a child enters this world. 

My feeling is that the largest similarity we all have is that of the undeniable love we have for our children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. What is it that I feel we need to do more than anything? Listen to one another. Be patient with one another. Judging our parenting tactics no matter what era will not help our present day child be the best version of who they are meant to be.

I do want to recognize that I am generalizing these parenting "eras" and that you may have experienced (or are experiencing) a very different parenting style in your own home.  All of which I have written is based on my opinions. I do hope that when I some day become the next generation to our family tree, that I am able to take the advice that I give, and that the parents of our future grand babies are also "patient" with me.

-Miss Connie